"I was sexually abused as a child for about 6 years. That abuse shaped every dysfunctional trait of my development. As I grew older I struggled heavily with relationships, boundaries and self worth. My parents loved me and always encouraged me to be myself, but there was one problem: I had no idea how to do that. Who was I, anyway?
When I was a teen, depression led me to attempted suicide (twice).
Fast forward into adulthood, PTSD waged war on me without announcing itself. With high functioning anxiety I pushed myself to every limit searching for acceptance, identity and love because on the inside I was scared, lost and lonely. But I was never good enough for my own standards and no matter how hard I searched the world, I couldn’t find myself. I had my third suicide attempt at 21.
When I got married I brought all of my issues with me. Gee, funny how that works! Every dysfunctional trait I developed as a child unpacked it’s bag & introduced itself to my husband. (We are still married, so there’s hope! Keep reading!) Let me say there were holes in the walls, cuss words in every derogatory comment and I had no concept of how to love and be loved. Self harm, rage, adultery. That was a scary year. #YIKES My husband was on the brink of divorcing me when he decided to call the church instead. #CCCAlamo
To sum this all