"I was sexually abused as a child for about 6 years. That abuse shaped every dysfunctional trait of my development. As I grew older I struggled heavily with relationships, boundaries and self worth. My parents loved me and always encouraged me to be myself, but there was one problem: I had no idea how to do that. Who was I, anyway?
When I was a teen, depression led me to attempted suicide (twice).
Fast forward into adulthood, PTSD waged war on me without announcing itself. With high functioning anxiety I pushed myself to every limit searching for acceptance, identity and love because on the inside I was scared, lost and lonely. But I was never good enough for my own standards and no matter how hard I searched the world, I couldn’t find myself. I had my third suicide attempt at 21.
When I got married I brought all of my issues with me. Gee, funny how that works! Every dysfunctional trait I developed as a child unpacked it’s bag & introduced itself to my husband. (We are still married, so there’s hope! Keep reading!) Let me say there were holes in the walls, cuss words in every derogatory comment and I had no concept of how to love and be loved. Self harm, rage, adultery. That was a scary year. #YIKES My husband was on the brink of divorcing me when he decided to call the church instead. #CCCAlamo
To sum this all up. We found JESUS.
Not only did chasing after God change our marriage (like....astronomically!) but it brought HEALING to my life I never thought was possible. FREEDOM. I found myself when I found Jesus. It took almost 29 years, and I’m nowhere near perfect, but I’m so far from where I once was. God always completes his good work in us and (thankfully, whew!) He is still working on me. (Shoutout to my husband. You the real MVP.)
I said goodbye to that girl I used to be and every day I get to decide to be who I was created to be, instead. Proverbs 31:25
I am no longer lost, I am FOUND. Luke 15:10 I am no longer worried about who will love me if I’m not perfect because God already LOVES ME (and nobody is perfect except Him). John 3:16 I am no longer afraid of abandonment because God is NEVER LEAVING. Deut. 31:8 I no longer have to live chained by my past and who I used to be because through Christ I am MADE NEW, SAVED and REDEEMED. 2 Corinth. 5:17, Eph. 2:8, Isaiah 43:1 And I will always live out loud because of it. I am passionate about helping every person I meet feel this way about themselves, too. #WearYourFaith
THIS is why I love this brand. #139ThisIsMe THIS is why I believe in its message. THIS is why I support it’s mission.
Because there are hundreds of thousands out there with stories like mine (or worse). Some have seen the miracles, but others are still looking for hope. Help me share this hope."